I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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