i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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