New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize