Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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