fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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