Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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