ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
