we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
