I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We are two peas in an std pod
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
