its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I could have mohawked her pubes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
