Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
