Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
