It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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