We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize