you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
