i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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