i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
