don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
