He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
