she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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