Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
