thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
