i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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