As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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