Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
