well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
