i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
