Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
