Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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