Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
