do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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