Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
