I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
