Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize