I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
