my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
