going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
