I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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