she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize