Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
