Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
