you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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