is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Randomize
