OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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