i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
