Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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