so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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