your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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