Porn is love you can see.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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