dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
