so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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