Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
