I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
