they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
