I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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