if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
