can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize