he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
In the future we'll all be gay
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
