and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize