dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
