ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
