break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
