Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
