Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
