Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize