Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
