I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
