1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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