I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
