I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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