do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
But theres a keg here and me gusta
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize