i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
